Hearing is Healing

My daughter has been volunteering with at-risk youth in the city of Spokane for the past year. 

On a visit to celebrate her 21st birthday, I had the privilege of accompanying her to the Impact Center. She knew every kid in the facility and it was clear that they knew and loved her too.

At one point a new face appeared in the doorway and made her way to our table. The card game came to a stop as “Anne” began to pour her heart out to my daughter about some recent crises in her life.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little awkward with the situation. There were some pretty private things being shared with anyone and everyone within earshot. And a number of people were on hold waiting for the game to resume. But the end was worth waiting for.

After several minutes, a long pause enveloped us. Anne broke the silence. “Thank you, Elizabeth. You always listen to me.”

The message was clear: Anne experienced being loved by the simple act of being heard. Elizabeth didn’t offer advice or solutions. Just a listening ear tied to a heart that clearly cared.

It is only when we have truly heard someone that we can begin to love them the way they need to be loved. To offer the care they need and are asking for. Hearing is healing.

Whether it was a Samaritan woman at a well, a father with a dying child, or a woman suffering from an ongoing illness, Jesus never seemed to be in too much of a hurry to be present. He took the time to listen to and explore the stories of those He encountered.

In his Gospel, Mark describes a woman who suffered from an illness for more than a decade. She had spent everything she had to get well, but only got worse. Her one remaining hope was to encounter Jesus. Pushing her way through a large crowd, she managed to touch a piece of his tunic. The bleeding stopped immediately. She knew she was well.

Jesus felt it happen and stopped in his tracks before asking a seemingly ridiculous question: "Who touched me?" The disciples thought it was a joke. "Who touched you? In this crowd? A better question would be, "Who hasn't touched you?"

But Jesus was determined. Refusing to resume his journey until the person came forward. Eventually she did. And kneeling before him -- right in front of everyone -- she told her whole story. Don't miss those last five words.

Why did Jesus stop the procession and force everyone to wait -- including a distraught father whose daughter was in the process of dying? Because Jesus knew that the physical aspect of this woman's healing was only one part of her journey. Being heard -- and, therefore, loved -- was the other.

Who do you need to begin hearing in a new way today? Hearing is healing.

Listen with one intention -- to understand. Ask clarifying questions to make sure you heard them correctly. And then thank them for trusting you enough to share.

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Recommended Resource: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, by Peter Scazzero.

Available on Amazon here: https://amzn.to/2KIXcGu

Leaving Small Group

Some good friends just left our small group. And they aren’t coming back. 

It’s been a little over six months since we invited them. Over that time we have had them in our home, barbecued together, and vacationed together. We celebrated together and walked through difficult situations together — taking our turns at both high fives and tears. We shared the joys and struggles of marriage and parenting. We pored over God’s Word and poured our hearts out in prayer. 

I guess you could say we shared a good deal of our lives with them during this period of time.

So what happened?

They grew. 

And they left. 

They were supposed to.

It would have been easy to stay. And comfortable too. For all of us. Truth be told, our small group is different now. But — and don’t miss this — so are they. 

They saw the growth in themselves and their relationship with God. They understood following Jesus and being a disciple in a new way — and they owned it. And when they sensed a call, they mustered the courage to answer it. As a result they’ve gone from from invitees to inviters, from participants to leaders, from disciples to disciple makers, and a new small group was born.

Six months ago, they were intimidated by the idea of sharing God’s Word with someone and wondered whether they belonged. Today they are sharing His Word and what He is doing in their lives — and helping others find a place to belong.

The reality is this: they are going to reach people that they never would have reached had they remained in our group. They already have! It’s a big loss for our small group, but a big gain for the Kingdom. And that is what it’s all about: The Kingdom.

What did Jesus have in mind when He called the twelve disciples — and formed the New Testament's first small group? A group that would stay together forever? Or more of an incubator where people would grow for a time before being released? Did they exist for themselves? Or for the purpose of reaching and impacting the world around them? (Jesus’ recruiting invitation in Matt 4:19 may help answer these questions.)

While Jesus and His disciples formed lifelong relationships, the focus was always on impacting others in the same way that Jesus had impacted them. They would carry His message, use His methods, and continue His mission. The future of the Kingdom and the Church depended on it.

Fortunately for us, the original disciples eventually came to understand this.

I was thinking this morning: what would it have looked like if the 11 remaining disciples had simply chosen to keep their tight knit group together and “do life” while waiting for Jesus to return?

Don’t get me wrong, eleven families doing life together and worshipping Jesus is a beautiful thing. But who would they have reached? How would it have had the Kingdom-expanding impact that Jesus intended for His disciples?

What if a small group was the vehicle Jesus intended to use to reach the world? Was it? How would it be different if your small group and your home became the way more and more people were introduced to a life of knowing, following, and being on mission with Jesus?

I can offer some ideas from the past six months. It would look like people growing in their faith. It would look like people finding purpose in the mission of Jesus’ church. Like people taking chances and seeing God use them. Like people discovering the joy of giving themselves away for the sake of another — and then someday releasing that “another” to go and do likewise.

These friends left our small group, but we haven’t left each other. We’re as committed to one another as we ever have been! We will continue to meet regularly to encourage and disciple them, take phone calls when they have questions, gather in our backyard for barbecues, and celebrate what God is doing in and through them. And, over the course of time, we will meet those they have reached and hear the stories of how their lives have been transformed.

This is discipleship. This is being the Church.

The message of Jesus. The methods of Jesus. And the mission of Jesus.

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Interested in reading more about how the early church reached the world around them?

https://churchleaders.com/smallgroups/small-group-articles/285398-early-church-small-groups-larry-kreider.html

A Tale from the Trail

This past summer, my wife and I found ourselves in one of the most beautiful places we’ve ever been — Victoria, British Columbia. The city itself reminded us of Disneyland with its lush flower beds, sculpted hedges, and historic architecture, but there was even more beauty to be found in the surrounding area. And we were set on finding it.

We found it on a trail to the top of Mt. Finlayson in Goldstream Provincial Park. This half-day venture would allow us to stretch our legs, have those conversations that only happen on the trail, and take in the panoramic views of the surrounding mountains and sea.

The hike was challenging and the terrain difficult in many places. As I tracked our progress via an app, I couldn’t help but notice that there appeared to be a trail descending the backside of the mountain. While I strongly prefer to return the same way I came — especially in unfamiliar territory — maybe we’d do something different today.

No one at the summit appeared to be taking this other trail, but a few locals did confirm its existence. So, after some time enjoying the picturesque views and celebrating our victory over gravity, we began the new and unfamiliar descent.

The forest was spectacular in the afternoon light. And all was well for the first mile or so. Periodic checks of the map and our progress showed us right on track. Until they didn’t. One minute we were good. A half mile later, the app showed us way off the trail. And yet we were on a trail.

We faced a decision… To continue on meant we would be flying blind in unfamiliar territory. To turn back meant a long trek back to the summit before descending the way we had come.

In all honesty, it was a tough call. Risk wasting more time or getting lost? Or cut our losses and head back? As we mulled our options, my peripheral vision picked up movement in the trees. It was a hiker descending from the summit the same way we had come. We were in luck!

As he approached, we introduced ourselves — and our dilemma. He wasn’t familiar with our map or the original trail it showed, but he was familiar with this new trail and offered to accompany us the rest of the way down. 

His experience and confidence allayed our concerns and his presence proved helpful as we encountered more questions along the way. The trail proved longer and far different than I had envisioned it. I can tell you with certainty that we would have turned back at some point if not for his assistance along the way.

The significance of this event was not lost on me. My wife and I had made a major decision just months earlier to leave what we knew as ministry and venture into new and unfamiliar territory — relational discipleship. We had a map and even a couple of guide books written by those who had been there before. But we knew there would be questions along the way. We had so many already! 

What we lacked was someone who would take the to trail with us.

Unbeknownst to us, that person would step into our lives just a handful of weeks after this hike — and in a way that was eerily reminiscent of this day on the trail. We stood at a critical  junction in pursuit of this new ministry, but it was time to go off the map. To go from theory to practice. In unfamiliar territory. Unsure if we were on the right track or even understood the trail.

This time it wasn’t something in my peripheral vision, but rather the buzzing of my iPhone against the wooden surface of a nearby desk that caught my attention. It was a Facebook message from a pastor in Houston by the name of Brandon Guindon. We had met when I visited his church about five months earlier.

In keeping with our current theme, you could say that Brandon is a seasoned hiker. He knows the map and guidebooks well, having assisted in their development and production. More importantly, he has decades of experience on the types of trails we were setting out on. And, in an extraordinary turn of events that we couldn’t have foreseen or arranged, he was reaching out to see if we might need some guidance — or a guide!

In a world full of people standing at the summit, pointing to the trail, and wishing others well, here was someone willing to take to the trail with people just one degree of separation from total strangers. Who does that?

That Facebook message was just the beginning of an ongoing relationship that has included multiple trips to Houston, regular phone and video calls, and countless hours of conversation, questions, clarification, and encouragement. Just this past month, the pastor and his staff invested six days of time and training in some couples who have joined us on the journey. It was incredible!

To be honest, I still find it all a bit hard to believe. What makes Brandon and his people so different? Why are they so generous? And so committed? After being in the process long enough, I discovered the answer. And it’s incredibly simple: They get it.

They have experienced the transformation that occurs when one person intentionally invests what they have in another over time. They have reaped the benefits both personally and corporately. And they have discovered God at work in the midst of it.

When it’s something and someone you’ve become, it’s easy to figure out how to do that for others — you do what has been done for you.

Everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. 

Luke 6:40

The reality is that true discipleship — what Jesus did with his followers — is a lost art. He took some pretty raw materials and made disciple-making machines out of them. He took fishermen and tax collectors, invested three years of teaching and on-the-job training in them — in other words, He invested himself — and then sent them out to change the world.

Disciple-making churches do the same thing, taking accountants, plumbers, and cooks — everyday people like you and me — and raising them up to be disciple makers, shepherds, and pastors. They are certainly the exception to the rule at a time when many churches seem focused only on improving the show and filling the seats. Ministry is left to the professionals while the vast majority of the body of Christ is relegated to the role of spectator.

It is crazy to think that this trail of discipleship is unfamiliar territory to me after 15 years in ministry. I should have had the trail of discipleship all mapped out long ago. 

It turns out that this trail lies on the backside of the mountain of church activity and goes largely unexplored. It’s a trail that follows the mission and methods of Jesus. A trail that is never traveled alone. And one that fits perfectly with who we’ve been created and called to be. 

Our current focus is on creating environments where authenticity is the norm, where it is safe to struggle and have questions, where individuals can explore what following Jesus really looks like, and where disciples and disciple makers will be raised up and equipped to do what Jesus has called all of his followers to do. Here's a little secret: it's not that complicated.

We couldn’t be more excited about this new trail and those who have joined it with us. We’ve been on it long enough to know it’s not an easy one. And we’ve done our best to count the cost. But once we’d experienced it — once we got it and began to see its impact on ourselves and others — we realized there’s no other trail we’d rather be on.

Maybe you've been sensing that there should be more to this following Jesus thing. Maybe you're frustrated with the ineffectiveness of the church or your lack of personal growth. If so, maybe it's time for a new trail. A new adventure. Maybe it's time to follow the ministry and methods of Jesus and see what kind of disciple he might want to make out of you.

We're on the trail and it would be our privilege to walk it with you. You can reach us at info@reallifearizona.com.