Planned Parenthood

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“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit
that we are children of God.”
Romans 8:16

The conversation was what I would call semi-planned. I knew it needed to happen soon, I just wasn’t sure when I was going to take the plunge.

It was apparent that our son Jacob (age 9) was getting some sex education from his schoolmates. Schoolmates who apparently weren’t very well-educated themselves. Someone needed to set the record straight.

So, one Fall Saturday morning, Jacob and I had the proverbial “birds and the bees” discussion. Only there weren’t any birds or bees in this discussion. Just moms and dads and marriage and commitments and Scripture and God – along with the proper anatomical equipment.

The discussion was good. I think it was helpful.

But the responses belonged on a Mastercard commercial. They were priceless!

“So you and mom did that?” he asked with a combination of shock and disgust.

A few moments later he added, “And you did that four times?” (Apparently a common question since Elizabeth asked Heather the same thing a few months earlier.)

“Yes, Jacob,” I responded glibly, “we had to do it four times.”

I explained to Jacob that, believe it or not, there would come a day when he actually wanted to do that.

But there would be plenty of time for that.

It’s interesting now that I consider it. It seems that Jacob assumed he was wanted. The fact that his mom and dad had done what “makes babies” told him that his mom and dad must have wanted a baby. His parents wanted a child and a child is what they got.

That’s not the case with all of us though, is it? Some of us go our entire lives wondering if we were ever really wanted. By anyone.

Somewhere inside every heart, inside every soul, is a desire to be wanted. By someone. By anyone. But especially by our parents.

As a teenager I owned several editions of a book called Truly Tasteless Jokes. I remember one joke quite clearly.

Question: What do you call a couple who uses the rhythm method of birth control?
Answer: Parents.

So, it seemed quite appropriate that some twenty years later my wife and I would become parents for the fourth time while “practicing” the rhythm method.

We had been thinking and praying for some time about whether or not to have a fourth child. We wondered if we could handle another set of shoes to pick up. Whether we could manage to find one more jacket while herding kids to the car.

I jokingly blame my wife for praying that God would “make the answer clear” without specifying that she still wanted a choice after that. I asked if the “+” sign on the pregnancy test was clear enough for her. : )

The blessing is that we both wanted that child. We wondered, and still wonder occasionally, what special thing God may want to do in his life since his conception was not so much by our choice as it was by God’s.

You want to know something beautiful? Something heartwarming and reassuring? God doesn’t have any children that should have been named “Oops.” Or “Afterthought.” Or “The one that snuck through.”

As a matter of fact, there is no Hebrew word that even resembles “oops.”

Because God doesn’t make mistakes. And he doesn’t acquire children by mistake either.

In the first chapter of the Gospel of John we find these words:
“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:12-13)

Can I elaborate a bit? John is saying that you and I didn’t become children of God by some simple exchange of body fluids, or because a man was filled with sexual desire, or because a woman decided she wanted a baby. Neither chemistry, nor lust, nor human will had anything to do with our becoming a child of God.

Rather, we were offered the family name because the creator of the universe wanted us!

God wanted you. Before you were born. After you learned to walk. Even when you sinned. He wanted you. And he still does.

God looked around the world and decided that the world wouldn’t be quite right without you. And he also decided that you wouldn’t be quite right without him. So he sent his son to bridge the gap between us and him.

You are wanted. In Christ, God gave you the right to become one of his children. And God’s children are always wanted.

“In love he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ,
according to the purpose of his will,
to the praise of his glorious grace,
with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.”

Eph 1:5-6